Life's Adventures: The Truth About Long Distance Relationships

Well, I normally wouldn't consider myself much of an expert on too many things, but one thing I have mastered is a long-distance relationship. After over 3 years of dating Brett (we met back in September 2010) and living 5 to 6 hours apart, I have come to accept that if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, we have to make it through this very difficult piece of being apart first.

But before you jump to thinking that long distance relationships are all hardship and loneliness, I have to admit that it is also a huge blessing in our lives- even a very rewarding and wonderful circumstance that Brett and I have found ourselves in. Yes- long distance relationships are hard. They ARE lonely. And I can't tell you how many times I have had to experience life's wonderful moments (throwing successful fundraising banquets, moving into my own place), and great sorrows (the loss of my grandma, finding out my step-dad had cancer) without him. And you can also imagine how difficult it is to get in a disagreement over the phone, and not have the advantage of kissing and making-up and saying "I'm sorry" in person like most normal couples do. There's nothing more gut-wrenching and depressing than wanting something as simple as a touch, or a hug, and not being able to receive it.

It's nights like tonight that I find myself really missing him (well of course, I miss him every night). But the beautiful thing about a long-distance relationship is that as low as the lows are, the highs are even higher. I love the song "Faithfully" by Journey, which portrays a couple in a long-distance relationship. As the song goes... "Being apart ain't easy on this love affair. Two strangers learn to fall in love again- I get the joy of rediscovering you." Ohhh how I can relate to these lyrics! Even after three years, I get to fall in love with Brett all over again each time I see him. :) And yes, I STILL get butterfly's every time.

Another wonderful advantage of a long-distance relationship is the fact that our love is built off pure and honest friendship. Brett is my best friend. When you live so far apart, there isn't much you can do except have hour long phone conversations- and over 3 years, you can imagine how many of those conversations we have had (our cell phone bills could probably have paid off my college debt by now). I know every couple says this, but we think so much alike that he literally says the things I'll be thinking and vice versa. We have come to know each other so well, sometimes I think I know him better than he knows himself! (He is probably shaking his head at this right now). ;) Hahaha. All kidding aside, even though the physical aspects of a relationship are important and necessary, it doesn't compare to a solid framework of friendship and love and trust. Brett and I have laughed together, cried together, celebrated together, and had serious and silly conversations together, all over the phone. There's nothing like sharing life's moments with your best friend- even if it can't be in person.

Don't let all the corny-ness get to you- we aren't the perfect couple. We have been through many hard times and we still drive each other crazy sometimes. But life isn't a fairytale. And relationships are hard. And people aren't perfect. And I'm glad Brett isn't perfect, because neither am I. And I'm so glad he accepts me just the way I am. I have found my perfect match- my best friend- my true love. I don't believe in soul mates. I believe that there is more than one good match out there in the world for everyone. But I have found someone who loves me unconditionally, someone who makes me feel unique and special every day, someone who cares about me, believes in me, and someone who can always make my day a little bit brighter. Most people go their whole lives and never get to experience the joy of finding their match. So if distance and time is what it takes to eventually be together, well then I will wait. And I will travel. And I will spend all the money I can afford on gas and plane tickets, and phone bills. Because being with Brett has made my life brighter, and richer, and happier, and it is worth any of the heartache that comes along with the distance.

So, if you've ever wondered how people in long-distance relationships have made it work, I have to say that it takes true love, patience, commitment, communication, honesty, trust, and two people who really want to be together. As much as I wish I could wave a magic wand and fast-forward to the point in our lives where we will eventually live together and get to wake up next to each other every day, I have to remind myself to cherish this time in our relationship as well. We are very blessed, in more ways than one. As long as we have each other, my heart will be full and happy. <3 <3 <3 xoxox